Apparently, B Is for Beer got its start in life from a bet. Not an actual bet per se, but rather a bet featured in a cartoon featured in a newspaper that featured in Tom Robbins’ reading pile. The cartoon involved a publisher and a writer walking into a bar with the publisher remarking, “No, I don’t think a children’s book about beer would sell.” Robbins took this to be a challenge and so began to write B Is for Beer, his first book in six years. A fable about beer aimed at both children and adults that began as a whimsical gamble might not sound particularly promising, but in the hands of Tom Robbins it’s an idea just crazy enough to work.

B Is for Beer might be a small novel in terms of pages, but it features Robbins’ typically large scope in a story that explores the fantastical nature of seemingly mundane affairs:

Once upon a time (right about now) there was a planet (how about this one?) whose inhabitants consumed thirty-six billion gallons of beer each year (it’s a fact, you can Google it). Among those affected, each in his or her own way, by all the bubbles, burps, and foam, was a smart, wide-eyed, adventurous kindergartner named Gracie; her distracted mommy; her insensitive dad; her non-conformist uncle; and a magical, butt-kicking intruder from a world within our world.

Gracie Perkel is a precocious young girl beset with disappointments. Much to the consternation of her halitosis-riddled Sunday school teacher, as her sixth birthday draws near, Gracie is becoming increasingly intrigued by beer and its pedigree (both historically and mythically speaking). In her quest for learning, Gracie had persuaded her Uncle Moe, a philosopher and well-travelled beer connoisseur, to take her on a tour of the Redhook brewery for her birthday. Unfortunately, although Uncle Moe was a reliable source of wisdom (particular gems include “You know what the game of golf is, don’t you? It’s basketball for people who can’t jump and chess for people who can’t think.” and “Every time a person goes to the mall, she loses a little piece of her soul.”), he certainly couldn’t be relied upon to keep promises. When the day of young Gracie’s birthday dawn, Uncle Moe was unable to take her on the promised brewery tour as he had made the unavoidable decision to run away to Costa Rica with a podiatrist named Madeline Proust.

Gracie’s birthday then went from bad to worse. Her father was inconveniently detained in Tuscon (Gracie knew he was on a business trip “because otherwise why would he have taken his secretary along?”) and so couldn’t make it back for the big day. Even more inconveniently, he had forgotten exactly which pet shop he had reserved Gracie’s much longed for new puppy at and so the new arrival wouldn’t be arriving for another week at least. The pink mobile phone that Gracie had been hoping for failed to materialise as well. With her mother out of the house gossiping with a neighbour, Gracie decided to ditch her birthday cake and enjoy a nice, cold can of beer instead. Hilarious consequences ensue. As Gracie dances around her bedroom, vomiting up cake as she does so, the Beer Fairy appears to her and takes her on a magical trip though The Seam between realities to learn more about the wonderful concoction that is beer.

B Is for Beer is a funny thing. It really is aptly described as “A Children’s Book for Grownups and A Grown-up Book for Children.” The humour in the novel stems from Robbins’ exquisite use of language and the wonderful characters he creates (apparently, all humans are “free-flowing meat waves of possibility”), but there are several unexpectedly dark occurrences that alter the mood quite dramatically. Luckily, this mix of the absurd and the serious works very well in practice. B Is for Beer also proved to be far more of a technical brewer’s manual than I was expecting. I’ve never attempted a home brew before, but I now feel reasonably competent to do so and may well brew up a batch of Jitterbugging Woodpecker in honour of Mister Robbins. Technical details aside, B Is for Beer is a fabulously whimsical fable about life, love and beer that never takes itself too seriously nor fails to entertain. While B Is for Beer certainly couldn’t be described as Robbins’ greatest work, nor is it the place to start if you are new to his books, it is a wholly original and rather brave story that succeeds in both raising a chuckle and making you ponder just what beer mug philosophers might really know.

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